collections

The Who's Who-nicorn - Your Guide to the Unicorns of the World

Ah, June! Summer has arrived. Here in Los Angeles, the month is marked by perpetually gloomy skies, which thankfully shield us from the horrible temp-- oh wait, there goes the cloud cover and I'm melting into my Cintiq again.

June is also a popular month for drawing challenges including KaiJune and JuneFae... but I didn't want to draw 30 of either of those things. Instead I decided on something I loved: June + Unicorns = Juneicorns. Why? Because making portmanteaus are one of my favorite hobbies; I love to calembour* people to death.

*(haha French joke, I'm a nerd #SORRYNOTSORRY)

30 days of drawing anything is quite a wild ride, and the fun, daily challenge of thinking up a new magical horse led to some really fun jokes and visual gags. So without further ado, I present to you The Who's Who-nicorn.

Here we have your standard model Unicorn. No frills, no upgrades, basic horn package (moderately pointy), and only produces glitter on weekends. She comes with four (4) hooves, an exhaust vent, and undercoating (while supplies last). This model, inexplicably, is equipped with a 2 horsepower engine.   

Here we have your standard model Unicorn. No frills, no upgrades, basic horn package (moderately pointy), and only produces glitter on weekends. She comes with four (4) hooves, an exhaust vent, and undercoating (while supplies last). This model, inexplicably, is equipped with a 2 horsepower engine.   

Prismacorn believes every hue of conspiracy theory. Once convinced that rain is actually the sky whizzing on the ground, she made it her personal mission to appear after storms to signal an end to the soiling. She is, unfortunately, very gullible. Her agent plastered her likeness on everything from nightlights to beach towels, and poor Prismacorn doesn't receive any royalties. It's probably for the best, as she'd spend her money on made up things, like Bitcoin.

Prismacorn believes every hue of conspiracy theory. Once convinced that rain is actually the sky whizzing on the ground, she made it her personal mission to appear after storms to signal an end to the soiling. She is, unfortunately, very gullible. Her agent plastered her likeness on everything from nightlights to beach towels, and poor Prismacorn doesn't receive any royalties. It's probably for the best, as she'd spend her money on made up things, like Bitcoin.

Did you do that? It wasn't me, I'd go outside or at least blame it on the dog! I think someone's eating egg salad. No, you're just smelling the pungent Mephiticorn. This olfactory equine typically wafts about swamps, low-tide marks, and Port-a-Dooties. It is colloquially known as a "Shartland Pony."

Did you do that? It wasn't me, I'd go outside or at least blame it on the dog! I think someone's eating egg salad. No, you're just smelling the pungent Mephiticorn. This olfactory equine typically wafts about swamps, low-tide marks, and Port-a-Dooties. It is colloquially known as a "Shartland Pony."

The Infernicorn's fiery passion is so intense, she burns with an inner flame. And an outer flame. The whole lot is on fire, actually. The energy she expends could power a small city, though that same small city would likely have trouble fueling the 100% refined-sugar diet that sustains her. Normally found in hot & dry areas, she must be kept away from the gassy Mephiticorn at all costs.

The Infernicorn's fiery passion is so intense, she burns with an inner flame. And an outer flame. The whole lot is on fire, actually. The energy she expends could power a small city, though that same small city would likely have trouble fueling the 100% refined-sugar diet that sustains her. Normally found in hot & dry areas, she must be kept away from the gassy Mephiticorn at all costs.

Is that spring in the air? Or is it... yep, it's just the Bloomicorn! Smelling fresher than your tree-shaped air freshener from 2003, this magical creature spreads flora and fun wherever she frolics. She's easiest to spot while holding perfectly still for diligent honey bees. Seriously, she's allergic. Does anyone have an epi-pen?

Is that spring in the air? Or is it... yep, it's just the Bloomicorn! Smelling fresher than your tree-shaped air freshener from 2003, this magical creature spreads flora and fun wherever she frolics. She's easiest to spot while holding perfectly still for diligent honey bees. Seriously, she's allergic. Does anyone have an epi-pen?

The Bufficorn is a real stallion at the gym, a workhorse that'll plow through the most difficult workout with barely a whinny. Having never been broken, he prefers to break records. 2,000+ lb bench reps, free-roam weights and a hundred inverted horn squats every day before grains. Sugar treat? Ha! Cubes are for colts.

The Bufficorn is a real stallion at the gym, a workhorse that'll plow through the most difficult workout with barely a whinny. Having never been broken, he prefers to break records. 2,000+ lb bench reps, free-roam weights and a hundred inverted horn squats every day before grains. Sugar treat? Ha! Cubes are for colts.

With a silky mane and perfect teeth, the Galeicorn is the most Instagram-famous of the unicorn world. Her legendary beauty is most often on display in photo shoots across mountain ranges and off the rugged Pacific Coast. While she can tame the winds with her magic, her hair is a little less submissive. Nine times out of ten, the photos end up looking something like this.

With a silky mane and perfect teeth, the Galeicorn is the most Instagram-famous of the unicorn world. Her legendary beauty is most often on display in photo shoots across mountain ranges and off the rugged Pacific Coast. While she can tame the winds with her magic, her hair is a little less submissive. Nine times out of ten, the photos end up looking something like this.

What the Corgicorn lacks in height, it makes up for in personality. This petite pony is found in ancient forests and glades. If you come across a gleaming sword set in a stone, odds are it'll be guarded by this furrocious guardian demanding treats for passage. It has been known to serve as a steed for the fairy kingdoms, giving rise to its colloquial name, Horse Bus.

What the Corgicorn lacks in height, it makes up for in personality. This petite pony is found in ancient forests and glades. If you come across a gleaming sword set in a stone, odds are it'll be guarded by this furrocious guardian demanding treats for passage. It has been known to serve as a steed for the fairy kingdoms, giving rise to its colloquial name, Horse Bus.

Some people believe the Schrödicörn exists. Some don't. They're both right. And wrong.

Some people believe the Schrödicörn exists. Some don't. They're both right. And wrong.

The first nocturnal unicorn on the list, Thrashicorn lives so deep in mosh pits that no light can reach her. Powered by face-melting rock that would make your deaf grandma go even deafer, she bucks societal norms and isn't afraid to let her inner mustang run free. Although her number one band is Equineox, she also attends every Powerhööf and Caine's Mane concert too. 

The first nocturnal unicorn on the list, Thrashicorn lives so deep in mosh pits that no light can reach her. Powered by face-melting rock that would make your deaf grandma go even deafer, she bucks societal norms and isn't afraid to let her inner mustang run free. Although her number one band is Equineox, she also attends every Powerhööf and Caine's Mane concert too. 

While not existing in a traditional way, the quantum nature of the Rezzicorn has been the subject of intense debate amongst horse-loving nerds. The magic of manipulating qubits allows it to crunch datasets that are staggering to behold. Considered the most powerful “computer” in the world, it’s a pretty cushy superposition to be in.

While not existing in a traditional way, the quantum nature of the Rezzicorn has been the subject of intense debate amongst horse-loving nerds. The magic of manipulating qubits allows it to crunch datasets that are staggering to behold. Considered the most powerful “computer” in the world, it’s a pretty cushy superposition to be in.

The Puddlecorn always gets his recommended eight glasses of water a day. While he can navigate oceans, rivers and bathtubs with ease, dry land is more difficult than a world-record breaking butterfly stroke... against the current... in quicksand. Since his last party invite ended with soaking pergo, he's developed a bit of a 'wet blanket' personality.

The Puddlecorn always gets his recommended eight glasses of water a day. While he can navigate oceans, rivers and bathtubs with ease, dry land is more difficult than a world-record breaking butterfly stroke... against the current... in quicksand. Since his last party invite ended with soaking pergo, he's developed a bit of a 'wet blanket' personality.

Known to be meticulously orderly, the Cornicorn lives in perfect rows. Every autumn, in a most odd ritual, the herd is known to form a maze for the enjoyment of very young or very intoxicated humans. Their magic, as is self-evident, is omniscience. Unfortunately, due to the ridiculous nature of its face ornamentation, no one takes their foresight seriously and that's how we end up with things like Crystal Pepsi and the Zune.

Known to be meticulously orderly, the Cornicorn lives in perfect rows. Every autumn, in a most odd ritual, the herd is known to form a maze for the enjoyment of very young or very intoxicated humans. Their magic, as is self-evident, is omniscience. Unfortunately, due to the ridiculous nature of its face ornamentation, no one takes their foresight seriously and that's how we end up with things like Crystal Pepsi and the Zune.

The Scribblecorn, much like DMV workers, live by a saying: "Existence is pain."

The Scribblecorn, much like DMV workers, live by a saying: "Existence is pain."

The Goudacorn is a rare specimen made entirely of an extremely delicious, unidentifiable type of cheese. Often pursued by those who think plain crackers are an abomination, his distinct scent makes it impossible to hide (especially if he's been sitting in the sun). Because his magic is self-regenerative, these nibblers are more annoying than anything. He makes an appetizing pair with his best friends, the Vinocorns. You can quit with the cheesy jokes, he's heard them all.

The Goudacorn is a rare specimen made entirely of an extremely delicious, unidentifiable type of cheese. Often pursued by those who think plain crackers are an abomination, his distinct scent makes it impossible to hide (especially if he's been sitting in the sun). Because his magic is self-regenerative, these nibblers are more annoying than anything. He makes an appetizing pair with his best friends, the Vinocorns. You can quit with the cheesy jokes, he's heard them all.

The Arcticorn often makes her intentions crystal clear but can sometimes feel dismissive, to the point of giving one the cold shoulder. She is a decorative staple at fancy winter dinner parties, although her attempts at fame and envy are a bit transparent. While very cool to her friends, they know that she can turn downright frigid if anyone dares touch the thermostat. Put on a sweater, she's not heating the neighborhood!

The Arcticorn often makes her intentions crystal clear but can sometimes feel dismissive, to the point of giving one the cold shoulder. She is a decorative staple at fancy winter dinner parties, although her attempts at fame and envy are a bit transparent. While very cool to her friends, they know that she can turn downright frigid if anyone dares touch the thermostat. Put on a sweater, she's not heating the neighborhood!

Lasers, glow bands, and fast cars, oh my! The Synthicorn, existing within the throbbing electronic beats of 80's sci-fi and horror inspired synth tracks, always moves with rhythm. She is best viewed at night; using her nostalgia magic to envelop your ears in pulse pounding power!

Lasers, glow bands, and fast cars, oh my! The Synthicorn, existing within the throbbing electronic beats of 80's sci-fi and horror inspired synth tracks, always moves with rhythm. She is best viewed at night; using her nostalgia magic to envelop your ears in pulse pounding power!

The Balloonicorn has few natural predators besides trees and the occasional power-line. Floating above it all, he has plenty of time to ponder the meaning of life: "How did it come to this? Why did that child release my string? Can horses fart? Hooboy, I hope I'm not close to an open flame when that happens.”

The Balloonicorn has few natural predators besides trees and the occasional power-line. Floating above it all, he has plenty of time to ponder the meaning of life: "How did it come to this? Why did that child release my string? Can horses fart? Hooboy, I hope I'm not close to an open flame when that happens.”

A living fractal, the Metacorn is one of the most fascinating and difficult unicorns to define. Technically named z=z^K+c (where c = number of horns, K= lollipops, and z = general horsitude ), it's impossible to tell where it begins, where it ends, when the psychedelics kicked in, and what the color of my shirt smells like.

A living fractal, the Metacorn is one of the most fascinating and difficult unicorns to define. Technically named z=z^K+c (where c = number of horns, K= lollipops, and z = general horsitude ), it's impossible to tell where it begins, where it ends, when the psychedelics kicked in, and what the color of my shirt smells like.

Coming in at a perfect 5/10, the Plainicorn’s hobbies include: counting his blinks, organizing his artisanal sock drawer, writing complaint letters about crunchy taco shells being too loud (but never sending them), and holding an unwavering belief that mayonnaise is just a tad too spicy. His powers are rarely used, as that would make people notice him.

Coming in at a perfect 5/10, the Plainicorn’s hobbies include: counting his blinks, organizing his artisanal sock drawer, writing complaint letters about crunchy taco shells being too loud (but never sending them), and holding an unwavering belief that mayonnaise is just a tad too spicy. His powers are rarely used, as that would make people notice him.

With a long neck and top-notch health insurance, the Giraffeicorn is a chiropractor’s dream. Don't bother inviting her to your birthday party. Even if she could fit through the front door, she'd be terrible at limbo. Also, she can't read. You wasted an invitation.

With a long neck and top-notch health insurance, the Giraffeicorn is a chiropractor’s dream. Don't bother inviting her to your birthday party. Even if she could fit through the front door, she'd be terrible at limbo. Also, she can't read. You wasted an invitation.

The Arabesquicorn seems to defy the laws of physics and gravity, executing some of the most beautiful and graceful dance steps known to horsedom. She is single-minded in her strides toward elegance and beauty-- which can be a bit distracting when she pirouettes into a display of oranges in the store. We're just tryinga buy our groceries, lady.

The Arabesquicorn seems to defy the laws of physics and gravity, executing some of the most beautiful and graceful dance steps known to horsedom. She is single-minded in her strides toward elegance and beauty-- which can be a bit distracting when she pirouettes into a display of oranges in the store. We're just tryinga buy our groceries, lady.

Caberneigh and Chardonneigh are a power couple in the horse world. These celebrity Vinocorns are known for their outlandish parties, animated stories and confident dance moves. Though they've been known to be a headache at times, friends rarely stay mad at such an uncorked duo.

Caberneigh and Chardonneigh are a power couple in the horse world. These celebrity Vinocorns are known for their outlandish parties, animated stories and confident dance moves. Though they've been known to be a headache at times, friends rarely stay mad at such an uncorked duo.

Too young to partake in her parents' bacchanalian fêtes , Roséneigh is training to be a world class host. She often throws elaborate tea parties with artisanal sugar-cube tasting (where her great aunt Vodkacorn will try to sell you ugly glass bracelets, but you're under no pressure to buy them... go AWAY Phyllis, you're embarrassing me in front of the other foals).

Too young to partake in her parents' bacchanalian fêtes , Roséneigh is training to be a world class host. She often throws elaborate tea parties with artisanal sugar-cube tasting (where her great aunt Vodkacorn will try to sell you ugly glass bracelets, but you're under no pressure to buy them... go AWAY Phyllis, you're embarrassing me in front of the other foals).

Heliocorn and Lunacorn are arguably the most important unicorns in their entire friend group. Their top five magical powers include being beautiful, being fit, being super-low body fat, and being better (than you, mainly). They also can't count. These two are frequently spotted with their frenemy, Galeicorn (friend when she stands on their rugged, wind-swept side, enemy when she's on their 'never photograph me from this angle' side). Their workout routine is stringent: 8 Instagram posts, and at least 5 minutes of vlog. EVEN ON UGLY DAYS.   Subscribe to their YouTube channel and hit that notification bell because next week, they're bringing ombre fetlocks into year 2049! Seriously. They can't count.

Heliocorn and Lunacorn are arguably the most important unicorns in their entire friend group. Their top five magical powers include being beautiful, being fit, being super-low body fat, and being better (than you, mainly). They also can't count. These two are frequently spotted with their frenemy, Galeicorn (friend when she stands on their rugged, wind-swept side, enemy when she's on their 'never photograph me from this angle' side). Their workout routine is stringent: 8 Instagram posts, and at least 5 minutes of vlog. EVEN ON UGLY DAYS. 

Subscribe to their YouTube channel and hit that notification bell because next week, they're bringing ombre fetlocks into year 2049! Seriously. They can't count.

Ah, ah, ah! 'Tis I, the Vampiricorn; terror of the night, nightmare of the villagers, adversary of the Red Cross blood drive. Be careful with those party invites, I am the guest who will never leave. Just one more episode of  Breaking Bad  and then I'll go, I promise... Oh. Oh no. You didn't tell me you invited Garlicorn. Stay back! We are NOT friends, Garl!

Ah, ah, ah! 'Tis I, the Vampiricorn; terror of the night, nightmare of the villagers, adversary of the Red Cross blood drive. Be careful with those party invites, I am the guest who will never leave. Just one more episode of Breaking Bad and then I'll go, I promise... Oh. Oh no. You didn't tell me you invited Garlicorn. Stay back! We are NOT friends, Garl!

Rounding out this horned herd, these power ponies, the magnificent Monoceros, these e-fine equine, is the one and only Holocorn!   Resplendent in her glittering coat, holo-shimmer wings, and linear-holographic hair and hooves, this unicorn can cause severe eye damage if stared at while in direct sun. Technically an alicorn, she's all that and then some corn. Her feathers are coveted as the rare ingredient in indie nail polishes (and hunted by Lisa Frank nearly to extinction). Much like the Vampiricorn, once she's in your house, she'll never leave... but that's only because spilled glitter is permanent.

Rounding out this horned herd, these power ponies, the magnificent Monoceros, these e-fine equine, is the one and only Holocorn!


Resplendent in her glittering coat, holo-shimmer wings, and linear-holographic hair and hooves, this unicorn can cause severe eye damage if stared at while in direct sun. Technically an alicorn, she's all that and then some corn. Her feathers are coveted as the rare ingredient in indie nail polishes (and hunted by Lisa Frank nearly to extinction). Much like the Vampiricorn, once she's in your house, she'll never leave... but that's only because spilled glitter is permanent.

Common Cupcake Types

Hello passengers, my name is Joie and I'm your tour guide today on our Sugar Safari! We're out to spot some colorful confections today, so keep your seatbelts buckled, your insulin ready, and your peepers peeled! And remember, no flash photography as these desserts are wild and dangerous.

And here's our first cupcake now, just off to your left. Chocolate cakes can come in many shapes and sizes, but this one is especially majestic in that its chocolate icing has been salted! The salt decoration is the meager beginnings of what will become a lovely mating display later this season. Chocolates have some of the highest populations here, and tend to be found grouped up with Vanillas.

Ah! Quick, grab your cameras folks-- this lovely syrup watering hole up ahead has a visiting pack of Strawberries. Look at that one, she's a beaut! Perfectly fluffy white buttercream icing, glossy berries, and a lovely polka dot wrapper. Great specimen, that one!

This area is well known for its citrusy cakes, and this Lime is no different! Its lime crest buried in the cream cheese frosting denotes its rank within the group. This one is especially powerful, and may even be the Alpha. Sir? Sir, I need you to get Little Timmy to pull his arms back inside the vehicle-- we don't want to challenge the KEY Lime in a battle of dominance!

Quiet now, folks. Here we've come upon some cakes hunting. Food is sometimes in high demand without enough to go around, and it appears that the Confettis are closing in on a herd of sprinkles-- which are cakes' favorite prey. Sprinkles are incredibly difficult to catch because of their agility, so a cake pack has to work together seamlessly to feed themselves. Watch the way that the Confettis use their colorful appearance to hide in the tall grass. Waiting. Watching.

Oh gosh, what's this?! A Velvet interloper has entered the scene! Seeing a Velvet on its own is fairly rare; he must've been an old Red that got usurped by a more powerful one and driven away from his pack. He's looking quite lean on sprinkles, which is likely what's driven him to just run at the sprinkle herd without a plan. Desperate times call for desperate measures! The Confettis don't look happy about this at all-- the sprinkles have been alerted to danger and have wisened up. Looks like no one will be getting dinner tonight.

And what's this? Oh, oh my. Here we have the completed the circle of life-- just off to the right. It appears that a juvenile Black Forest cake may have strayed too far from his group. The world is a dangerous place, and rogue Forks can be anywhere! From the stab marks in the ground here, I would guess it was a group of no less than three that found the Forest by himself.

Let's be honest, "Gone" really IS the most common type of cupcake.

Well, that concludes our Sugar Safari for the day, ladies and gentlemen! We are back in the safety of the Visitor Center, so please make sure you have all your belongings before exiting the vehicle. Thank you for going wild cake spotting with me today, and be sure to check out the gift shop on your way out! See you next time!